Ho-Ho !

How time changes ! From the time of our forefathers when we celebrated religion-specific festivals, till today when due to globalisation we find reason to be happy in any festive season ! We have come a long way :)

It is Christmas ! The birth of Lord Jesus ! The time of gifts and goodies ! The time of expecting surprises ! Few of us get lucky everytime ! :)

It is winter ! The season to have every reason for hugging, holding hands, cuddling ! The season to have every reason to lie in blankets and be happy ! The season to put on as many clothes as possible so that even a lean looks stud ! The season when you actually want to feel close to ones whom you care about !

I belive, winter is the season for you ! Yes, for you not to tell but show how close you are and want to be to your family, friends and love ! [loves for many of you ;)] It is a season when the warmth of a relationship adopts its literal meaning.

It is my season. I love this season and always want to be at a chilled place during this period of the year...do NOT suggest a REFRIGERATOR plz, for it will be the worst of the PJ's at this moment !

Definitely I do not want to be alone as well. I wish to be close to those who love me. That is how I like to enjoy this winter and every other coming in future.

This season, superficially may be a season of 0 degrees but in spirit this season is responsible to feel the warmth of a relationship - literally.

Especially, this year I am excited about this season for it has some add-on with it. I feel it. :)

Make a Wish ! Enjoy Winters ! Merry Christmas ! Happy New Year ! :)

The current state: Blank

Date: 22nd December 2008

Time: 2:30 p.m.

I hate this part of the day when I am at home all alone. Moreover, electricity is gone and the usb modem that connects me to internet is also not with me. I have some exams approaching but my preparation is not delivering me satisfactorily results. I am dragged down-to-earth every time I give a test and every time I am high on adrenaline while preparing. It is like a sine curve or a cosine curve. Thus average comes to be x = 0; on the Euclidian plane. No, not a tangent curve, never been to infinity.

I am not disappointed but belittled in myself, yet I am not depressed. I see opportunities in every failure. I see motivation to try harder. I have faith in myself for I know I am sent here for some purpose. The doubt is, whether my real purpose and my expectation of what that purpose actually is, are same.

Theese days there is a new sensation in my life that keeps tingling my emotions. I do not know what does it want from me? Clueless!  Baffled! Though, it does not come face to face but it keeps disturbing me. It is not that I do not like it. I love it. I become enthusiastic everytime it tingles me. I play with it. I try to give it back the same sensation. Everytime it brings some memories which I cherish.

But, I am tired of this hide n seek. I like to be straight in everything. I sometimes do not understand hints and moreover, I do not have a helpline. The situation is very delicate. I am not at all sure how to handle it. Yet, I keep trying various ways.

The reason for my motivation and faith, for I being high on adrenaline, is this sensation.

hmmm...for the first time I am not getting words to describe my situation. I want to talk this out to the one causing this sensation but fate is never in favour of it. Let guts alone.

The extreme of this situation may be indicated by the following fact:

In this extreme winter, when shiver runs down the body of a human, I am not feeling the coldness of the weather. I more often feel warm in the innerself. Moreover, sometimes my superficial is so cold, it seems as all my body warmth is directed to one single point, where my innerself resides.

Going Ahead !!

Allright !! It is time.

Yes this is my last week of PS2 and am !@#$%^&*() about it. That is a mixture of emotions. Well, undoubtedly, I am glad that PS2 is over, for I will not be bothered by the 'sitting ducks' anymore, not that they have bothered me too much but they did not bother me at all, that counts.

So here I leave the professional world (though for short time but who cares about time, collegiates have loads of it) to enter back into the college world, which I have been missing like anything; my friends, my room, hangouts, chats, DC !!

Oh Dear God !! I am so excited about it. But there is this !@#$%^&*() about my departure from Pune !!

Initially I did not like this place at all; crowded streets, noisy malls, luterey auto-waale, poor bus service, dust, pollution and so on.

But as time went by I gathered some things to admire like my coaching teachers whom I got along with very well, my coaching classmates (though only 6), some great moments with my roomies; birthdays, cycling trips, shouting n howling, teasing, playing cards, fun in movies, dinner time masti, BFL masti, late nitouts and loads more.

There are some more beautiful things that are yet to happen and so I am hoping for the best.

The point is, I do not want to go from this place. I want to hang out with my buddies here, want to make some new friends here, want to roam around with them, spend some quality time with those whom I want to be with.

For the first time in my complete life till now, I have felt responsible for my deeds, for the first time I earned some cash and spend it as per my wish, for the first time I had the right to be free, many things for the first time happened to me in this city and I do not want to part with them !!

But I guess what happens has to happen and you can only get carried away by them. And so, the week ahead I will be looking forward to some good things to happen with me.

I think that is what they call Going Ahead !! :)

Economics to Emotions

'If you want to get rich, you need to learn how to take risks. Learn to be an investor.'

I read these lines in a gain-financial-freedom conceptualised book. Though, I was reading an economics related book but couldn't restrain my thought process to spread its wings.

These lines stand very true in every aspect of knowledge that you wish to acquire. Not getting it? Ok. Let me make it more clear. How about rephrasing it as - If you want to gain, you will have to lose ? Though, the rephrase is not exploring every dimension the statement aspires to conquer, yet it is easier for a common man to understand.

'Rich' is not always associated with 'earning money' or 'gaining profits'. It is associated with 'addition to what one already possesses'.

'Risk' is not merely staking one's money with fingers crossed. It is associated with 'analysis and judgement from some observations'.

'Investor' is not the one who 'stakes money' but the one who 'stakes what one possesses'.

E.g. Consider a student who went to a school for the wish of his parents and studied for the wish of his teachers.

The investors

Student, Parents, Teachers and most importantly School authorities.

The investments

School authorities invested mind in planning out a good infrastructure, money in creating infrastructure, hiring teachers and maintaining the standards and trust in the students that they will utilize the infrastructure with respect and will be able to emerge as the leaders.

Teachers invested their knowledge, teaching skills, time, affection, care and also a small amount of trust that these students will become great human beings and never forget them.

Parents are the biggest investors. They invested their every moment in creating healthy surroundings for their child. They invested their every penny so that their ward gets what he/she deserves and what he/she needs to become deserving of something better in life. They invested their affection, prayers while their ward was out facing the world with his/her wits. They invested 'themselves' for the betterment of their child.

Student invests unknowingly in the initial stage. Later, he has gone so far that he stops accounting for the investments that he has made. He only counts the outcomes and is never satisfied, for he has never known the exact amount of investments made by him and so in pursuit of much more he thinks the investments to outcount the results.

The risks involved

School authorities fear the most of the bullies at school who continuously attempt to assault the institution's property, deliberately or not. There are some elements on which mortal being has no control e.g. natural assaults for which there is no option other than praying to God and asking Him for His mercifulness.

Teachers did not usually fear in past. They used to physically scold students and parents would have blamed the students for it without knowing the complete scene. But today it is not the same case. Once bitten twice shy. Today teacher thinks a lot many times before hitting some student, for parents are very careful of every scar that their ward gets. All due to only a few merciless teachers in institutions.

Talking sensibly, parents have no risks to take, as they admit. Their service is selfless. They expect nothing but affection in return, which in some circumstances is not given to them and yet they do not complaign.

Students are the biggest risk takers. They deliberately take risks and enjoy the adventure. Risk of not completing homework, risk of forging parents' signatures on teachers' remarks, risk of bunking classes and not getting caught by any authority and a lot more.

Who got Rich?? The biggest question. I suppose many blogs will go in writing who got rich in this scenario still we will not have reached even half way answering it. Hence, I will not attempt to answer the question but would definitely expect from you, the readers, to ponder over it.

Hint: Recall from the very first day when you first opened your eyes to this world.

A too much of an emotional encounter, I guess.

The Day

The morning began at 6:30 a.m. After morning ablutions I left for the center. It seemed a fine morning. It was different: the cool breeze, the timely luck factor in getting the bus to the destination, the sun hasn't rose yet, sky looked snowy. The travel was comfortable, except the bumpy jumps in the bus. I was not nervous, nor was I worried. For, the occasion had quite become a practice of every sunday, thanks to the coaching center's schedule.

So I reached the center and there were two noticeable things: a barricade at the entrance to avoid rush and a huge gate bearing the center's name on it. The buildings seemed to be arranged in an array, simple yet impressive. As I moved to my venue, I saw many faces: cute and nervous, confident, confused. But I did not know how my face looked like !! Perhaps, someone must have noticed.

I stood outside the entrance to the test venue. I looked around in an attempt to spot familiar faces but in vain. Most of them came with their parents or guardians; I felt lonely, though I was wearing a sweater but a cold breeze ran through me which shivered me. I made some calls, to my math faculty, my cousin. It really helped to have some familiar voice ringing in the ears.

Soon the gates were open, and we were let in. It was easy to spot the room. I occupied the location specified for me. You know, this is the time when you actually experience the taste of reservation, if you know what I mean.

Soon a voice was heard over speakers- The security guards must close the entrance to the building and shall allow no one henceforth. It was 10:00 a.m. Time flies by. Soon, he started blabbering various instructions. Though, I had them printed infront of me yet the old guy preferred reading them aloud; oh he was'nt reading them aloud, he was just reading them in front of a microphone.

It was 10:30 and we were now free to do whatever we can with the test paper in the next 2 hours and half, yet we had instructions to take special care of the answer sheet.

As I opened the question paper, I was expecting a total blackout but, to my surprise, I was wide awake in my mind. I was not nervous, nothing striked me like lightening. This thing, ofcourse, striked me. May be it was the effect of the sunday routine of mocks.

Well we all know for ourselves what happened to us in those 2 hours and half. Many of us scored, performed to someone's expectations and many of us just did what we could. There is nothing to repent about because we all did what we were supposed to do. Still, no doubt, I could have done better.

But let us keep those feelings aside for the moment and go in retrospection to see how did the day start. I told u how did mine start and as the day went by I realised that it was not the D-day for me !! My case is yet to be judged.

By the way, how did yours go, buddy ?

M... Craves

My name is M... and I am immortal: in my spirit, thoughts, actions, feelings.

I enjoy my reality that like every human, my life is bound to be miserable at most times. Though, many a times it is scary but I live with it.

Many a times I go for an expedition to search for the most peaceful place in this world but as it turns out, every craved place loses its identity once its aspirers achieve it; or, is it that the identity refrains to abide by the place when it is no longer craved for ? Whatever be the case, the search for such a place never ends.

Is this the destiny of human satisfaction: to remain unfulfilled? Will any human ever find a place different and far away from this adversary filled world?

I know that most of us are disqualified to answer this question for we are the major components of adversaries. Hence, we cannot answer this for everyone. But what if we could answer it for ourselves, atleast?

What if, we could find a place for ourselves where the soul of the world resides or our soul for that matter?

I know such a place, for myself. I see it daily, when I am relaxing, when I just want to be at some place so great and wonderful as to make me forget my sadnesses, when I just want to submit to the soul of the world and be relieved.

The place which I talk about, will never run out of the crave which humans have for it and the reason we all know.

Here is an attempt towards poetry in which I try to describe the place where I want to be, ultimately.

Over the hills, amongst the clouds

It feels like heaven where happiness enshrouds,

The beauty is so great i want to take it all in a glance

The earth smells so good i walk in a trance.

The trees r so green, the sky so blue

I have never seen flowers in so many colors n hues,

This is the only happiness that has ever been,

It’s the only sorrow known to man;

It’s the only truth in existence,

This is the ultimate fantasy.

After days of being dead, I feel alive,

Of all the things I have been blessed with,

It’s the only one that inspires life.

Lying on my bed I see it in my minds eye,

And if the judgment day is today;

That’s the place I’d like to die.

Some may call it nature, some call it GOD;

But I just know one thing,

This is the only thing worth living for.

With love

M...  :)

Confessions of a Confused Mind

The day was 4th of July 2008 when I registered for my ps2. At that time I had promised myself to perform my best in the coming 5 months. I had looked this interning as an opportunity to explore my interests, gauge myself under the meter of professionalism. That was the moment when I had thought of 'making it BIG'. I was waiting for the period to begin. Finally, it began on the 5th of July.

It has been 4 months now and from the place, where I am standing right now, I look back at that day just to find that the lift which I had grabbed then, took me downtown instead of adding any value to my brain.

Who is to take the responsibility for this downturn?

I think the answer lies in the confession that I am about to make.

I wasted the time in these 4 months. The activities that took my time were: sleeping and watching movies.

The reason behind the truth that I did not get any work is my disinterest in the company that developed due to my laziness. I shall not blame the working conditions of the company for that laziness.

It feels so cheap to even say that I am a BITSian for BITS gave me so many chances to recover from my drawbacks but I never paid any heed to them.

Well, even when I got work in area of slightest interest, I ruined the opportunity to display my talent, my sincerity, my hard work etc. by missing out my days in useless dreaming. Now, I wonder whether I have ever possessed any of these.

To feel a bit of good in myself I had joined a coaching to prepare for CAT !! Well, there they expect me to win horizons and I seem to have no concern about them or anyone for that matter.

Just to feel much better about that I am putting my hard work, I recently started cycling 20kms daily.

I do not know what have I been doing these 4 months and certainly have no idea what I must do in the remaining 1 month.

None ever knew what I actually had been doing these months. Not even the ones who did everything in their power to provide me with the best.

And now I know it will be shameful for those who know me to call me their friend or known to. Hence, I feel I must go, disappear somewhere, never come back, never talk to anyone.

But that is not what I want to do.

I want to be given one more chance to reinvent my potential. Just one last chance...

PS: I do not need pities of any kind so please spare me the trouble.

The Coupling Effect

Well, as I write this, may be, somewhere, someone is getting committed. But I am actually an eye-witness of a specific zone called BITS Pilani Goa Campus.

It is an engineering college. Hence, like any other engg. college we have guys in majority and gals in minority. In the campus there is this unsaid game going on: Who Gets Gal First !! Unfortunately, there are not any man-made rules but only natural ones.

I need not tell how the whole cycle goes but still I have to write something !!

I semester => Oggling around; a guy automatically becomes far-sighted !! (can spot a gal from a distance)

II semester => Guy starts being friends with gals (mind the use of singularity and plurality)

III semester => Guy is seen around with so many gals having post-dinner walks. Guy/Gal justifies- We are just good friends.

IV semester => "He proposed me !! OMG !!" (:blush)

V semester => Both are studying hard in library for it is their crucial year and surprisingly become the best scorers !!

VI semester => Both become highbrows !!

VII semester => They will not part ways, for they studied only to remain together till the last year be it PS2 or on-campus semester.

VIII semester => Time for the rest to go distant but for them it's time to come much closer !!

They meet each other's parents and just like any medieval period hindi movie...la lala lalalala lala

Now this is supposed to be an ideal love story in a college but we see many variations viz.

1. guy never ends up being friends with gals

2. guy may end up being a friend but never ends up alone with her.

3. guy may be good friend with a gal and likes her but hey ooops gal has never thought about him like that; we can be good friends though :) !! ( this actually means that, I am going to roam around with your friend and you should not mind)

etc. etc. and many more may be possible. There is not no number between 0 and 1 but infinite.

Hey, there are other species called as Dual Degree Students (DDS), Second Semester Admissions(SSA).

For DDS and SSA first year is all about CGPA; DDS need a good dual like COMPSCI, EEE, EnI !! stop !! Who wants mechanical or chemical but some people have to be satisfied by these only !!

Second year is about little bit of observing their entourage. Even this little much is too much !!

Third year is again studies. Afterall, this is the last year of their first degree.

Fourth year is the last year on campus and so the last year to admire the 'beauties' of the campus !! :D

During these three years, we may not have heard about the dualites geting coupled. So, one must widen their ears as much as they can in the fourth year to hear the breaking news. And no wonder, the breaking news might come from among your friends only.

Moreover, one can see Hybridization at its best in campus.

well well well....this is one hell of a life apart from daily routine activites...and my some known-to's are right now enjoying the ride.

Enough said. Wish these people some special lucks and brains for true love stories are very rare to be seen and to those too who are still on a lookout.

Just a thought !!

On a white canvas, I was painting a scenery, wherein I was in a beautiful valley with myself.

I was thinking...not about how my life is going but how could such a scenery exist in this world... suddenly I realised some one's presence around me. But I could see no one. I looked here and there, looked back at myself...yes myself the painter...I could see a hesitation in his hands. They were trembling. I tried to know why his hands were trembling. The painter was having an idea of drawing a figure which would encompass the qualities of softness in nature, freeness in thoughts, aiming to fly high and would love me.

He was having so many images in his minds but none fit in properly. Every image lacked one or the other quality. Every time he drew a figure, he had to rub off for it was not perfect.

The presence that I was feeling rose because of that trembling.

That trembling increased as he kept on drawing figures and erasing them. The result was faced by me, a strong wind blew. It was not any ordinary wind, but was instilled with the grief, sorrow and desperateness of the painter- desperateness to provide me with someone worth me.

Consequence: I was blown by the wind and was gone far off from the reach of the thoughts of the painter. I was lost and so was my painter.

He could do nothing but start painting on another canvas.

Thoughts are like clouds, they keep floating by. One can always retrieve the thoughts but can only cherish the moments gone in those thoughts.

I was happy until...

How many times in our lives have we really felt "I am happy?" Well the answer will definitely come out to be - many a times. Give a serious thought to it and you will know that whenever you felt happy there was something which was adding that 'until' to the end of your claim, simultaneously.

Let us start from the beginning, the beginning of one's life.

When I was born, I was happy - until I found the need to communicate my needs.

When I tried to communicate through actions, people started understanding me and now I was happy - until the people felt that communication has better ways- speaking -and so they taught me how to speak.

When I learnt to speak, I could communicate my desires in a language that was understandable by the people and now I was happy - until the people stopped responding positively to all my desires.

As I grew old, I understood that desires must be controlled and that all desires cannot be fulfilled at the instant and now I was happy - until one evil started poking me to go faster for my desires, the temptations.

Now I was busy fighting against temptations. I learned how to win over them and I was happy - until other evils took to my attention. Now I had a full army to fight against; greed, hatred, deceit, lust etc.

I was busy all this time trying to figure out a way, a simple formula- like the one Newton had for gravity- so that whenever I face with any of these disturbing variables I shall substitute them in the formula and get a positive outcome automatically. Completely Impractical !!

The process of mentioning all the incidents of life where 'I was happy until...' can go on and in the end you may probably realize that you were never of the form 'I am happy'. But, to discourage you is not my motive.
My motive is to recall those incidents where now you know you felt 'I was happy until...' so that you will notice this time the virtues that gave you the power to fight.

Feeling happy is like a chain reaction. Everytime you feel so, it is crushed by the split of your mind into the positive part and the negative part. The negative part is thrown out of the conscious and you feel happy because of the realization of the existence of the positive part which won against the negative part.

A vicious circle of feeling happy !!

I Love You !!

This phrase can win the accolade for the Most Familiar Phrase In The Human Linguistics. Each and every person on this planet has heard, read, listened or even spoken this phrase once in its life. What does this phrase convey? passion; warmth; sense of reducing proximities; a desire to hold one's hand; a desire to do anything to meet your mate's demands; commitment !!

Sounds easy na !! Is it really that easy?? :)

In english language while understanding the meaning of a word we use many techniques: one of them is through synonyms, already done above; a second technique which I find more convincing is to break the word into its roots and from the meanings of the roots we conclude the meaning of the word. I plan to use a similar kind of approach here. Let us split the phrase into the three visible parts: 'I', 'Love' and 'You'.

Ask a kindergarten student what does 'I' and 'You' mean. I am here to discuss something more important, more substantial- the meaning of 'Love'.

Before you read ahead you must know that I am neither a philosopher nor a PhD in Love. I have not had any girlfriends to know the intimate meaning of this word. But what I have is a belief and relationships to manage responsibly so as to experience the feeling of this word. Yet I am no expert :)

As i would define, 'Love' is a sense of understanding that you give to someone when you are around them.

When you are around a stranger you are giving him/her the understanding that, we are no different from being a mere human, in this arena and that we can feel comfortable in each other's presence. That is love.

When you were a kid and your parents used to take youto market, they always hold your hand. That touch is telling you that no matter what happens, I am not going to leave your hand but if circumstances are so cruel to make me do so, I will find you soon and my blessings are always with you wherever you go. That is love.

When you go out on a journey, there is always someone on the other side of the window to bid you safe journey. That tender wave of hand tells the air surrounding you, I am leaving him in your safe hands. Don't let your flow uncomfort him. That is love.

When you first went to school, the teacher took your hand from your parents'. The smile that teacher wears tells them, don't worry your child is safe in my hands. He will become what you think of him to be. That smile reflected on your parents' face says to you, I trust the teacher, go with him and win horizons. That is love.

When you made your first friend, the first handshake was to tell you, We will lead on this path together whatever may come in way. We will always help each other. That sense of understanding, care and responsibility is love.

When you were upset for your first mistake and your friend sat around, that silent presence speaks to you, I am here now, we will correct everything. That silence is love.

There are uncountable instances in life when we are shown love but hardly we notice it and thus they become unaccountable.

If there were an instrument which could help listen to the sounds that run in silence of the moment, embraces and the gestures a man experiences over his lifetime, I bet he would hear LOVE most of the times, there would not be any hatred as we see today and I would not be writing this.

So go out today and tell people that you love them for it is too small world to hate but endless to spread love.

Dreams: Fold-Unfold !!

What do dreams mean?
Do dreams reflect our relationship with life?
Do dreams tell us what are we supposed to do next?
Do the dreams sketch on canvus the possible outcomes of our particular action?

I see dreams. In my dreams I see myself restless; running, climbing, falling, fighting etc.

Long back, I had read that 'Scorpions' are meant to fight all their lives. But fighting is in everyone's fate. Even a new born child fights with its inability to communicate as adults do. It cries, throws his hands and legs here and there in order to communicate what it wants or how it feels. Sometimes we, adults, are also left with no option but to retaliate physically.

So I cannot relate my restlessness of dreams to my war in life or my zodiac sign. Then what do I relate it with ?

Once I had a dream in which I found a solution to a mathematics problem which I was not able to solve before. So do dreams provide solution to your problems ?
A scientist would answer that as a no suggesting the problem was left in my subconscious due to which some part of my brain was busy solving it and when it had the solution it sketched it out on my canvus of dreams.

Then what is a dream !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel a dream is just a reminder, like the one you keep in your mobile, about things you think to do but forget in daily 'karma' !!

Dreams keep reminding us of the plans we want to execute because they make us happy.

They keep refering to our old plans and rearranging the sequence of activities or even modify them sometimes to correlate with our present circumstances so that we are able to do what we want if we wish to.

They present a reason to keep pursuing what we want. They are a motivational force for us.

They are a true friend.

But here is the catch. You cannot enjoy its company until you give it your perseverance.

And even if you decide not to follow what you see just because its something imaginary, dreams come over and over again.

The only difference will be, now they will be haunting you in place of when they were motivating you.

So what is better: Accompany your dreams or Let it be the way it is??

"I dream !! You dream !! We all dream of icecream !!...until..."

The Legend of Narcissus

As legend goes, Narcissus was a young man who knelt daily beside a lake to contemplate his own beauty. He was so fascinated by himself that one morning, he fell into the lake and drowned. At the spot where he fell, a flower was born, which was called the narcissus.

The following version of the aforementioned legend, I read in a book, which referred it to another book.

When Narcissus died, the goddesses of the forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh water, transformed into a lake of salty tears.

"Why do you weep?" the goddesses asked.

"I weep for Narcissus," the lake replied.

"Ah, it is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus," they said, "for though we always pursued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand."

"But ... was Narcissus beautiful?" the lake asked.

"Who better than you to know that?" the goddesses said in wonder. "After all, it was by your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself!"

The lake was silent for sometime. Finally it said:
"I weep for Narcissus, but I never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. I weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, I could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected."

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Now two questions haunt me

Q1. Did Narcissus go to the lake to admire his own beauty or the beauty of the lake which was reflected back to the lake in the eyes of Narcissus?

OR

Q2. Were Narcissus and the lake too involved in contemplating oneself that they were unable to notice each other's beauty?

PS: Do give your opinions.

Who Am I ? (part1)

That was the question Jackie Chan kept asking himself in a movie. But this ain't any movie. It is life and we all ask this question to ourselves at least once.

I ask this question quite often. It has kept my thought process occupied since I had stepped out of my hometown in 2005. I left my home for graduation under a brand name.

I had always been able to make friends in my primary as well as secondary education. Now I needed to figure how to do that on a higher level.

Yeah, FIGURE OUT, because whomever I met made me always feel that WHO AM I TO DESERVE THIS PLACE!! I was searching for 'humansakes'. But at this moment I can say I found few to match but that exploration had costed me a lot.

In my first semester, where you hope to find people whom u r going to live ur next 3 years with, I was rusticated from my first friends group.
Reason: I backbited
Comment: If I was looking for good friends I was at wrong place.
And all this happened immediately after I was released from hospital.

I was highly depressed which was bound to have an adverse effect on my already ruined studies. As a result, I screwed up my tests and became a 5 pointer.

Now I knew I ruined my one semester and since I had no motivation on-campus to have the urge to soar heights I 'took lite'

Well I made aquaintances with new people as it becomes haunting to live in solitude.

The summer holidays were horrible with continuous scolding from my parents for such an extra-excellent performance of first year. I was put to study. I tried, tried, kept on trying.

The 3rd semester started and a new batch entered the campus. My cousin also made it through and came to follow my legacy of being a mechanical engineer :D

He is a true picture of strict control on circumstances; who hardly cares about the world but does consider about those whom he cares about. His words of wisdom made one feel self-sufficient, independent.

As the sem past by and first tests got over, I was amazed to see my performance in 2 subjects. I was motivated to score nothing but an A in both. The motivations were:
1. A look on teacher's face which meant- from where in the hell did this guy pop up !! Never saw him in class !!
2. An expectation-smile on another's face.

But this was it, the two subjects, not related to my discipline and I felt I could be good at cracking them.

The sem ended with A's in them and an expectation from one person who was my friend due to her perception of me being a 9 pointer (I later came to know about that).

I was broken the immediate semester when she got committed to a common friend. But thats how the crushes end :D

So, I again 'took lite'. You see how flexible I am.

Ohhh !! How can I forget !!!!!!!

My life in this sem was a lot better than 2 A's and a crush.
Credits to a friend, Vivek , who gave me a chance to kick start a club with him, The English Press Club.

Objective: To bring out monthly nesletters to make on-campus students aware of the inside picture and also help them to recall whatever they saw.

It was started towards the end of 3rd sem. When we started we were 4 people.

When we proceeded in next semester we expanded our team to 15 effective people.

In this semester, the fourth, I was occupied with the aftereffects of 'the expectation' and the club.

About the club, at first we were criticised for not working with an 'already existing team' (which died after their first issue). Later people appreciated our work and GOD we were a hit !!

I will not say that I found excuses not to study but what I scored at were those I was interested or had self-motivation.

I had never been technical guy but this semester, again credit to two friends, who invited me to participate in few on-the-spot events. I also earned a certificate. yeppeee !!

Till now, I earned trusts of quite a lot of people on campus. I was never told that I backbited. These people agreed to be a part of my life in different ways, no one more important that the other.

I am sorry friends, I cannot name you all here and even naming a few will be biasing but I need not tell you. You already know :)

These people carried me in my next year ahead, 3rd year. Their trusts in me gave a support to rise. They made me realise 'WHO AM I' really and what can I achieve. It was their efforts that made me realise of my true worth.

They say, one's strength is one's weakness.

I say, if your strength is your friends, you do not have a weakness.

Increase the level of Highbrow Functioning

Hey all

As most of us will be highly occupied with the preparation of CAT, I thought may be I can lay a helping hand in your preparation ;)

I found following article of high use in long term as well...so read on

Learning techniques

Grasping new vocabulary and retaining it are not such easy tasks. It is all about the right technique. There should be a system or modus operandi to learn such words as we cannot mug them up.

1. Being a voluntary reader

If you are a voluntary reader, mastering new vocabulary won't be a problem for you. As the same words are likely to figure again and again in your reading, you will get well acquainted with them.

2. Source citing

Another possible and interesting way out can be the method of source citing. Go to sites like dictionary.com. It is an online dictionary, frequently updated. Here you can easily find out the source from which the word has originated. This creates a background, and learning words becomes easy.

3. Learning prefixes, suffixes, roots

This method is also very effective. If we know some roots, prefixes and suffixes, we can easily anticipate the meanings of words using those roots, prefixes or suffixes. Take for example, '-pathy' which means feeling. So, it becomes easy to comprehend meaning of a new word with this suffix. Like, 'sympathy' -- 'similar feeling', 'apathy' -- 'no feelings', antipathy' -- 'negative feelings' and so on. It's quite simple, isn't it? Think of certain roots and test yourself.

4. Associating

If you associate or relate a certain word with something or someone, like any of your companions, chums or relatives, the process becomes simple. For instance, the word 'irascible' is used for a person who is very 'irritable' and 'impatient'. Now, one of your acquaintances can be of this nature. Associate this word with this person. Whenever s/he comes before your eyes, this word will come to your mind and vice versa. So, the word won't go to the dark depths of forgetfulness.

5. Swapping

This is a technique to diversify your learning. You can learn in both ways, paradigmatic (by context) as well as syntagmatic (by meaning). Swap the word you have done, with the ones having the same meaning. Like, we can swap the word 'irascible' with words like cranky, grouchy, grumpy, petulant, peevish etc.

6. Flash cards

Learning certain difficult words amusingly is both a challenge as well as fun. You can make flash cards and use them for the twin purpose of building up your vocabulary and of playing cards. Writing the word on one side of the card and the meaning or hint on the other will do.

7. Creating stories

Another entertaining method of learning new words is by creating stories while learning. It's an easy method. Take a word, 'assiduous'. It means 'to work diligently'. Now create a story. 'Ass' is donkey. Take it as 'dhobi ka gadha' which works day in and day out. So, a person who works diligently is 'assiduous'.

8. Effective speech

Everyone wants to be a good orator. To become one, learning words is not enough. You have to use these words in your speech to make it rhetorical and impressive. So, keep learning, keep swapping, keep creating and keep using. The world will listen to you.

PS: Ref. www.rediff.com

Testimonial time @ BITS-Goa

Yes it is indeed. It is time when we are asked to pen down the 3 golden years which we spent with some very wonderful people in just few words.

Fair Enough??

Nah...I do not think so. I believe that these 3 years of one's life are very special to one in every way. We met different people whom we tried to be friends with but we landed up only with some roaming around with us.

We discussed, planned and executed.

What we had not liked people to know about us, we told THEM. We trusted !!

We studied together and it was not like nerds studying with complete silence, deep concentration and spine straight. Our concentration was not made by the silence but by the music being played, jokes being cracked, legs being pulled.

Our spines were never straight :D

We played corridor cricket :P we played outdoor games in enclosed hostels even after midnight. And this is the reality of all times, be it exam's too !

Some of us who did'nt even step out of our rooms for most part of a day, spent time on dc or playing lan games. we did what we liked.

We all have enjoyed these 3 years to the fullest and we never regret any of our actions because each and every one of those actions has taught us something which is very crucial for our lives to remember more than what our professors taught us.

We laughed together in our great times and cried together in each other's bad times.

It never ends. I can go on writing about those 3 years...

And you ask me to pen down about those people in a concised form??

Certainly neither possible nor fair.

A Thousand Words

All these months I was searching for a topic to pen about.
Finally, I think I got something.

Since my last blog I have been through a lot of mental trauma about excelling in a few areas, planning about the future etc. I could hardly get control to any of it until I reached home.

At home I was enjoying my time away from studies.
However, there was a little nostalgia. I was missing my friends many of whom I won't be seeing when I go campus next.

The one and a half month period went by smoothly. Now was the time for the training.

I was alloted an internship at Bharat Forge Ltd. Pune
I expected a lot for BFL is a mech core company and I happen to be a mechanical engineer. But guess what !! I was not permitted to work in my area of interest, CAD. I tried explaining them how much skilled I am in modelling inspite of having learnt it all on my own but I was shouting on deaf ears.

Anyways, I had to be satisfied with Production Planning & Control.

First thing I learnt here is that, World does not want to know your potential but wants to know how well you can translate your potential from the area of your previous work to the present one, the two being disjoint.

Besides the internship I joined coaching for CAT !! I dont know what moved me to take that step 0.o !! But i got a cute teacher ;)

So I became a multi-tasker :D

Now dont u dare think that I sidelined the entertainment of the hot and happening place Pune !! I, alongwith my friends, went for some sightseeing (:P), visited some malls and theatres. Sometimes, we just went some place to idle away the time. Ohh !! I forgot to mention, we cycle-ride the city.

Meanwhile, my crush came to know about it, thanks to a common friend. She calls me up to say that she aint interested. You see how lucky I am !! :D

Well I moved on. I again let the string loose. Life went on by its own at its own speed determining my fate all by itself and I had no contribution besides I let it go !!

And while I am writing this, I am on the boulevard being swept like the fallen leaves.

Now I think, I have been too harsh on myself by letting the string loose. It is time I must pull the string and have complete contribution in what happens in my life !!

PS: With the random architecture of this post, you think I am confused. Think once more !

The Two Months !!

I dont know what to write in my first blog.
I am thinking abt the stuff am doing these days, they seem to be ordinary; the talks i do with my friends, seem to be useless to mention; the new people coming in my life, seems to be none of your business !! So what do i write!!

Well this is the real me, at times am confused to such an extent i start doubting should i brush or not !! but at times am so much determined that i really feel the need to bathe !! :P !! DISGUSTING NA !!

One of my friends had just told me that "u hav some sad kind of complex abt urself dunno y".

Sometime before a guy was pushing me hard to impress a girl whom i chat with a lot by sending her good pictures or sending some new good songs etc. etc.

Before that I was wondering how can i get hold of what I am supposed to do. My guide keeps forcing me meet him and give him updates on what i have done abt the assignment and I dont feel like doing a bit about it. I wasnt like this before a month ago. I had a chance to meet some really great researchers during an association meet. I bugged them as my assignment and their research areas are the same. One of them was seriously irritated with me being around him all the time asking him some queries or blabbering something about something which i had done.

Ahaa !! from the meet, i remember there was this malaysian chick I admired, I tried geting close to her by talking but bad luck at being friends but I got to dance with her during an entertainment night !! YEPPEEEE !! But never mind i was lil drunk and was high about doing something exciting !!

So the night was over and i was back to my normal hostel life !! God It sucks !! (a lil)

Now next on cards was the technical festival !! To tell you, I am not at all a technical guy but i liked to try my hands on making a robot this time. So i participated with two morons as my partners who never helped me except giving me advices or ordering !! Both were my juniors...

Ok now u must be thinking what a fool I am !! but not my fault i believe in fate a bit.

neways so the festival started. i was more than excited and running on bad thorat pain and fever !! But like the Spartans rose against their enemies (god knows who !!) I too rose from my bed and sat on ground to finish the job !! Still my PARTNERS dint give a damn abt it !!

Three days !! day and night !! no dinner, no lunch !! only water and chips !! with some not-to-be-called-babes arnd me, I managed to get lil of appreciation and two certificates in my share. Cheers !!

Now this was also supposed to end and so it did and so (again) with it ended the fun days !! What was NEXT ??

The MOST IMPORTANT THING !! TERMINAL TESTS 1 !! Yeah we do have to prove to the teachers that we r poor than they are in some bull subjects yet we feel we are on the top of the world !! and no doubt WE ROCK !!

Testes got red !!

Now comes the empty stack of days in groups of weeks !! Sad na we cannot POP out boring days off the stack and PUSH in the shining days !!

That happened in just two months !!

NEXT NEXT NEXT NEXT !! Am thinking !! NEXT NEXT NEXT NEXT !!

Damn a mosquito interrupting !! wait i shall kill it and return...brb