Chatpati 'CHAT'

I sit here on my bed. It is 10:00a.m., on 20th November 2009. I am viewing status messages of people on my gtalk and I come across some interesting ones, such as -

-Indore doesn't seem to have too many Bloggers...but my mission is to create them not to find them:)
-One line C++ code to prevent titanic from sinking: declare float titanic :) :)
-cant sit still :D NY calling!
-Kondu Wada
-jaane teri aankhen thi ya baatein thi wajah.. hue tum jo dil ki aarzoo...
-On honeymoon with PS3 at HDTV :)
-the stuff's here, its just time now that separates us
-Be careful what u ask 4... xcess in any form is bad... and xcess in certain forms can kill u :)

and so on...

Some people keep going transforming from green to red or red to green, idle to green or green to idle, red to idle or idle to red. Some are stable at some or the other colour for relatively longer period.

Instant messengers have become one of the important means of communicating. If internet shares 70% of human networking, instant messengers account for 70% among them and Gtalk proudly takes its 70% share in that. (Source for these statistics is highly reliable and confidential to be revealed :D)

Instant messaging is the best way to express oneself. Through it, one can say just anything without facing that anxiety it produces when said on face. You can just abuse someone, and he can ignore that. If one does not wish to see anyone bugging them (who are added by mistake) they can always block them. You choose whose request to accept whose not. However, people are very smart not to reveal their identity in their e-mail id.

Emoticons have given an advantage to express freely just for the sake of it. You can not laugh and yet give a :D smiley to the other person and fool him.

You like someone, you are afraid to call her up. You are scared that what if "calling sometimes" become frequent and it smells fishy to her. So you just get her e-mail id and sit there staring at that display pic of hers. However, you are still afraid to ping her but you are relaxed for u realise her presence.

"...wanna make it clear to you i always talk to u as a frnd..."

BOOOOM!!!! Goes the mind :O :O Does she really mean what she said... or am I thinking too much... WHAT DOES SHE MEAN BY FRIEND!! AM I SOMEONE SPECIAL. OH I WOULD NOT MIND BUT WHETHER I AM?? aaaaaaaah whatever it is time to be YEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYE !!! \m/ (but WHYYYYY????)
You like her... You think she may also have similar feelings... You try to figure out ways to find it... Everyone becomes SHERLOCK HOLMES and all statistics and figures are calculated. Never would have done it for an MM case but yeah definitely you will sing theories of optimism and likeliness right now.

Next day u see her sitting with someone and ur heart goes DHAK DHAK DHAK DHAK DHAK DHAK DHAK DHAK!! You are upset, sad, angry...you do not want to see her but back she comes online with that sweet display picture and you forget all the agonies... BACK you are to your excitement level.

Another thing with instant messaging: You DO NOT want your older family members to be there. You are afraid to put various status messages for if they see them they become CBI. They raid your privacy and ask sorts of questions: what?? why?? who?? etc etc.

They are also worried about you being sitting 24x7x52 online and keep complaining.

"Oh man my mom-dad. They don’t leave me alone. Am 19 for God's sake! Give me some privacy. Will you??"

Abey DHAKKAN!! You want privacy?? You have been running all naked in front of them for so many years of life and now when, thanks to them, you know your sense of privacy, you want them to be the first one to give you your privacy!!

But yeah there are sometimes when we do not wish to be disturbed. But that is not because of desire of privacy but of the desire to handle our problems ourselves. At least for me!

AAAAH MAN!! Instant messaging is highly deceptive. It really gets you crazy. All the times!!

I am an ardent user of G-talk. It is a synonym of instant messaging for me. My friends joke of me becoming an ambassador of G-talk. HAHA!!

Hey Lary Page & Sergey Brin! Are you guys reading this?? ;-)

The Confused Chronology

Looks like I finally got something to scribble

Well I am currently at IMT Nagpur. (Please google about it).

MBA program is completely different from any course in this world. You read books but do not cram it. You understand things but understand their implications in real world and not in hypothetical problems.

This course brings about a change in your personality. I could notice change within 3months of my joining.

B school is a perfect place if u wish to meet a good blend of people. I call it a good blend of people because you meet all kinds in everyone. You meet friendly, caring, opportunist, rude, attitude driven, modest, cool, carefree, cunning, wicked, buggers and many more types of people.

I have met a lot in these 3.5 months. Whoa that sounds like some proper time utilization.

A new place has its own advantages and disadvantages.

Advantage - I get to experiment your ideas. I meet people from varied backgrounds. I meet people ranging from 19yrs to 29 yrs of age.

Disadvantage - There are people to grab any opportunity even snatch from your hand. Many people are manipulative and hence easy going people need to pay a price to them. You try new things. You try new stupidities. You pay a heavy toll.

Are you really getting the essence of what am I trying to say??
If not, we are on same boat :)

Well, recently I have committed few mistakes. Few which can be rectified and few which will make me pay for my life.

The factors which make you commit msitakes - Ignorance and Trust

In my ignorance I did a very stupid thing and then I trusted someone and am paying a price for both... may be for life now

Few days back I had my birthday. My colleagues from a committee celebrated my birthday. I cut a cake. However, I would like to think it as an obligation but truth is that may be they really wanted to celebrate that I was born. well I am glad that they displayed a little affection.

Well the real shock was still on its way. My corridor mates, everyone of whom I am good with, did not even bother to order a cake for me. I did not cut a cake with my so-called friends. I wished to feel the center of attraction but I was not. My roomie had thrown a party the previous night. I went there and few wished me. Rest came along just to whack my ass.

It has been the worst birthday of my life till date and I do not wish to face any worse.

I know it is rude to say that and am sorry for all of those who really were happy that I was born. But do not u get sad when u do not get what u deserve.

I do not have a group as such in this place. May be that is what is called professional college.

COME --> STUDY --> LEARN --> PLAY WICKED --> GET PLACED --> LEAVE

I am a big introvert and I really need people around me who really care about me.

You know I share my birthdate with my PAPA... That was the only reason for me to be glad on this birthday.

It is hard sometimes to believe that your one stupid activity ruins ur relationships.

DAMN IT !! I am a human. Do not I have a right to be forgiven !!??

General Education Vs. Technical Education

Education is the absorption of knowledge from the accessible sources for the complete development of mind, body and soul. It is impractical to think of gaining knowledge about everything that exists. To ease in the process of education, it is bifurcated into general and technical. General education deals with the moral development of the learners whereas technical education is job oriented.

General education aims at imparting knowledge stemming from various sources. It is the process that teaches a student to think critically, develop values, understand traditions, respect diverse cultures and opinions and use knowledge for the edification of society. It is holistic, integrative and must be implemented. General education renders a person socially functional.

Technical education imparts theoretical and practical knowledge for the purpose of economic progress of the individual. It is highly specialised and fractioned.
Technical knowledge equips a person with necessary skills and techniques to have an edge in the cut-throat competitive environment. The dependence on technology even for small jobs has raised the necessity to learn more about technology. Moreover, day-to-day developments in science and technology have increased the fields of knowledge and thus the number of people required for the job.

General education and technical education are exclusive of each other but complementary. For the complete development of the individual, there is a necessity of a balance between the two. A person needs to grow into partially independent and socially acceptable entity. It will also help the society to develop in all aspects and also the nation.

Violence among youths

Youth is the premature version of the Homosapiens. It is the most vulnerable section of the society. Violence among youths is one of the most visible forms of violence in the society. It is evident in fights in schools and colleges, unrest during disagreements at home and workplaces. The victims and perpetrators of such violence, almost everywhere, are adolescents and young adults.

According to various surveys, homicide and non-fatal assaults involving young people contribute greatly to the global burden of premature death, injury and disability. Youth violence deeply harms not only its victims, but also their families, friends and communities. Its effects are seen not only in death, illness and disability, but also in terms of quality of life. Violence involving young people adds greatly to the cost of health and welfare services, reduces productivity, decreases the value of property etc.

Apart from undermining the structure of society, violent people divert from their main course of life. They display problems such as truancy and dropping out of school, substance abuse, compulsive lying, reckless driving etc. Witnessing violence at home may force youngsters to regard violence as an acceptable means of resolving problems.

Researchers have identified the factors predominantly responsible for youth violence to fall under following categories – relationship, society and community influences and situational reactions.

Parental behaviour and family environment are central factors in the development of violent behaviour in young people. Poor monitoring and supervision of children by parents and the use of harsh, physical punishment to discipline children are strong predictors of violence during adolescence and adulthood. Adolescents in families which have disintegrated because of conflicts or rapid social change show prevalent violent tendencies. Peers’ influence is also instrumental in shaping interpersonal relationships.

The rules, norms, obligations, reciprocity and trust that exist in social relations also determine the nature of young people. Young people living in places that lack the social capital, tend to perform poorly in schools and colleges. Rapid demographic changes in youth population, modernization, emigration, urbanization, social unrest have been linked with increase in youth violence. The political structures, their policies and mode of conduct also affect the behaviour of the youth.

Resorting to means such as demonstrations against the decisions of the governing body, either in a city or in any institution, instead of peaceful conversation shows the increase in the violence among youths.

Violence among the youth cannot be suppressed by force. It is a slow and steady process. Various social development programmes have been launched with the motive of reducing the antisocial and aggressive behaviour in children and violence among adolescents. Their focus is on managing anger, modifying behaviour, adopting a social perspective, moral development, building social skills, solving social problems and resolving conflicts. They also focus on improving the productivity and efficiency of the youth. No doubt, the social programmes are very active in solving the problems of the youth but what is indispensible is the support from parents and well wishers. Their role is to understand the situations being faced by the adolescents, their responses and the reasons behind them. It is their responsibility to show them the correct way to perform. Ultimately, it is the parents that understand the need of their wards.

Social responsibility of media

In technical terms, media refers to the storage and transmission tools used to store and deliver information. In journalism, the media refers to the sources which provide information about current events, trends, issues and people, the analysts and the electronic systems and software which aid presentation of data. Today, ‘media’ is used synonymously with mass media or news media.

Media of today is much more advanced than that existed at the time of independence or even before. With the advent of technology and professionalism, the media has become much more effective today. Moreover, with power come responsibilities.

Media must play an important role in the development of the nation. It must act as the voice of the people. Once people’s representatives are chosen, the media must ensure that they must work to fulfil their promises. Media must highlight the problems of the people and if possible also work out solutions to solve them. Till date, media’s involvement in politics and general development has been important in mitigating corruption and favouritism. Media must help in formulating national opinion on any issue by highlighting its every aspect. Moreover, media must promote and publicise the heritage of the country, new developments at college and industrial level, achievements of various students in all fields, upcoming of various entrepreneurs etc.

Media with its new information and communication technology can analyse the minds of political parties, pressure groups and new social movements for public information and opinion construction. However, it often fails due to self-critical examination of the news, opinions, articles and editorials on conflicts and violence. At times, media ignores the possible consequences of fabricated, biased or sensitive information being portrayed among the people, which lead to misunderstanding and preaching of hatred, fear and communal feeling. Moreover, media exploits its freedom of speech to dishonour celebrities and politicians, as a means to take revenge or to fulfil personal desires.

Today, as the world progresses towards successful development and globalization, it is the moral responsibility of the media to abstain from generating false news and conflicts and to address the nature and sources of interstate and internal conflicts. If possible media must discuss and implement the preventive measures and work towards establishing peace and honour.

Growing impact of television and fall of reading habits

Television has become an integral part of one’s life. Television provides with entertainment and important information. After day’s work, people switch television to watch the soaps of their interest. Moreover, existence of large number of channels provides with many options to choose from. People prefer television as a mode of relaxation and pleasure rather than conversing with family members.

Television has also affected the reading habits of children and adults.
Since ancient time, books have been considered to be the supreme collection of knowledge. Books enrich minds with thoughts and vocabulary. They provide insight on every topic which further forces the mind to create its own philosophies. The stories in books provide great morals for kids, teach them proper behaviour and facilitate the building of their characters. However, as the information becomes more accessible through radio and television, the habit of reading books is declining. The information available through television is easy to process as the mind has to do lesser work. People have substituted reading books with watching television. However, the advantages of reading books have gone unnoticed in the fast paced transformation.

No matter how easy is the accessibility of information, the television can only provide the surface story. The reasons and views of people behind the scene can only be known via books. Books analyse each and every step in the process. It establishes the reasons in detail, linking it with the ideology of the perpetuators. General purpose reading helps in formulating the opinions and philosophies. Reading books help a person in intellectual development.

Benefits of reading over television viewing can be understood by watching an event and then reading about it. The written description is much more detailed than the one telecasted. It might also seem to be normal. However, if a person who lacks reading habit would try to describe the event only after watching it, the description will not be complete. The problem faced here is the absence of words while explaining the event. Though, the snapshots of the events will be running in the minds yet the words will not be penned down. The reason is the abstinence of reading books. While reading books, mind creates images of the events being read and relates important words with it, thus, memorising the words in relation with the pictures that it created.

Reading books is a nourishing activity. It needs to be flourished since the childhood for the development of intellect. Otherwise, heavy doses of vitamins and minerals will be needed as human advances through various phases of life.

My apprehensions of Recession

Recession is defined as the slowdown of economic activity over a period of time. Technically, the recession is identified the GDP declines for two consecutive quarters. The GDP decline is caused by a slowdown in production, falling housing prices and sales and a drop in the investments. The slowdown results in increasing unemployment which in turn causes a slowdown in retail sales. When the market has no demand, the manufacturing faces a setback and the graph declines further.

The current recession is the result of cupidity of people in the US sub-prime mortgage market. The banks lend loan by analyzing the credibility of the borrower. The people who cannot justify their credibility are given loans by the credible borrowers from the bank at a higher interest rate. This is called sub-prime lending. The prime lending refers to the loan borrowed from the bank.

How did the sub-prime lending ignite the recession? The sub-prime loans were converted into financial securities and sold to big investors who paid the loan amount to banks. This amount was used by banks to finance more home loans because the sub-prime loans were sold out at low interest rates which made them vulnerable to buying. Since more and more loans were sold out, the cost of real estate started crashing. Also, since the borrowers did not have a credibility listing, the payments started getting defaulted thus increasing the equated monthly instalment (EMI) interest rates. A vicious cycle of buying n defaulting was created. Since, the EMIs could not be paid the securities started transforming into losses thus, the beginning of the economic meltdown. To cover these losses, the investors started selling their investments in foreign markets. Since the amount of selling in the markets was much higher than the amount of buying, the financial markets in different countries started tumbling. Thus, the world faced the heat of the US sub-prime crisis.

Every problem has a solution. The economies are still fighting with this recession and have been successful to a great extent in suppressing it but the after effects remain in the market. Thus, it is always better to anticipate and plan accordingly. The recession could have been avoided if the covetousness could have been suppressed. Today, mindful people need to save money so that when the economies suffer a breakdown there could still exist a controlled flow of money in the market. The governing bodies need to deploy policies more strictly. The tax cuts also need to be revised. The money in securities is equally unsafe and the risk is even higher for higher values of securities but provides tax exemptions to some extent. In the urge to keep more money in own pockets, people tend to invest in securities. The government must revise its taxing policies to secure money with the citizens and prevent their exposure to risks.

Ignorance is not bliss anymore. Anticipation, planning and undertaking calculated risks are the needs of the hour.

Recession and role of new technocrats
Recession is defined as the slowdown of economic activity over a period of time. Technically, the recession is identified the GDP declines for two consecutive quarters. The GDP decline is caused by a slowdown in production, falling housing prices and sales and a drop in the investments. The slowdown results in increasing unemployment which in turn causes a slowdown in retail sales. When the market has no demand, the manufacturing faces a setback and the graph declines further.
The current recession is the result of cupidity of people in the US sub-prime mortgage market. The banks lend loan by analysing the credibility of the borrower. The people who cannot justify their credibility are given loans by the credible borrowers from the bank at a higher interest rate. This is called sub-prime lending. The prime lending refers to the loan borrowed from the bank.
How did the sub-prime lending ignite the recession? The sub-prime loans were converted into financial securities and sold to big investors who paid the loan amount to banks. This amount was used by banks to finance more home loans because the sub-prime loans were sold out at low interest rates which made them vulnerable to buying. Since more and more loans were sold out, the cost of real estate started crashing. Also, since the borrowers did not have a credibility listing, the payments started getting defaulted thus increasing the equated monthly instalment (EMI) interest rates. A vicious cycle of buying n defaulting was created. Since, the EMIs could not be paid the securities started transforming into losses thus, the beginning of the economic meltdown. To cover these losses, the investors started selling their investments in foreign markets. Since the amount of selling in the markets was much higher than the amount of buying, the financial markets in different countries started tumbling. Thus, the world faced the heat of the US subprime crisis.
Every problem has a solution. The economies are still fighting with this recession and have been successful to a great extent in suppressing it but the after effects remain in the market. Thus, it is always better to anticipate and plan accordingly. The recession could have been avoided if the covetousness could have been suppressed. Today, mindful people need to save money so that when the economies suffer a breakdown there could still exist a controlled flow of money in the market. The governing bodies need to deploy policies more strictly. The tax cuts also need to be revised. The money in securities is equally unsafe and the risk is even higher for higher values of securities but provides tax exemptions to some extent. In the urge to keep more money in own pockets, people tend to invest in securities. The government must revise its taxing policies to secure money with the citizens and prevent their exposure to risks.
Ignorance is not bliss anymore. Anticipation, planning and undertaking calculated risks are the needs of the hour.

Prospects n Challenges for IT Manager

According to Information Technology Association of America (ITAA), IT is defined as “the study, design, development, implementation, support or management of computer-based information systems, particularly software applications and computer hardware.”

Information Technology Management is concerned with exploring and understanding IT as a corporate resource that determines both the strategic and operational capabilities of the firm in designing and developing products and services for maximum customer satisfaction and corporate productivity, profitability and competitiveness.

The role of an IT manager is to develop new ideas into solutions with the optimum use of available resources for the satisfaction of customer. He is responsible for integrating the company’s operational capabilities so as to make the company capable of delivering the services it has promised to the market. Companies appoint IT Managers as IT support to various roles such as financial management, services management, business/IT alignment, corporate governance etc. Thus, IT Manager is required to have knowledge of all the application areas.

The only thing which is constant is change and the rapid change in IT industry has increased the complexity of IT management. There are many factors responsible for the rapid change but few of these factors have been recognised to be contributing majorly:

· Vendor Neglect

· Vendor Oversell

· Acquisition Dilemma

· Support Burden

· Resistance

· Cascading Needs

· New Integration

· Errors

· Training Demands

These barricades are regularly faced by an IT manager in its profession. There are regular neglects on part of the vendors. Sometimes vendors promise to deliver more than they can, for the desire of more earnings. There are regular fluctuations in the market demand. Errors are integral part of any process. There needs to be quality assurance at every step of the process. Sometimes there are internal conflicts which are harmful for the company’s reputation. Also, regular training of the employees to keep them update with the latest trends in technology is necessary.

IT Managers should give careful thought to the fact that problems need to be encountered. Anticipating and planning for them can help avoid project delays and budget overruns.

Environmental awareness and role of technocrats

“In the end, we conserve only what we love, we will love only what we will understand and we will understand only what we are taught” -- Baba Dioum

Recently, I have read a news item anticipating the establishment of four Hi-Tech cities in the outskirts of the Aligarh city. These establishments will be done with the aims of reducing the size of the crowd in the city and of providing employment to people living in the nearby villages. Though for a noble cause but such projects tend to exploit huge amount of resources. And, the exploitation of resources at such a large scale results in the environmental instability. Definitely a detailed plan needs to be formulated such that the resources can be used optimally, now and again.

There have been instances in the past where mankind has not thought about future impacts of its actions. We face with problems such as the lowering of water table, reduction in the rainfall, increase in the size of ozone-hole, global warming etc. Though these problems are being faced today but their causative actions have been performed in the past viz. deforestation, fast paced technological advancements. Still, we are not learning from our mistakes.

Today, as we move forward with the aim of making world a better and comfortable place to live in, there is a need to put a check at our every action. We need to observe and attend to every factor closely e.g. climate of the place, water table, rainfall, wind etc. There is a need to make people aware of these factors and to develop a general idea, the idea that how to use each resource optimally. Also, there is a need of reducing the amount of usage currently. There is a need of self-realisation. There is a need to think about the impact of an action on the society and environment before committing it.

There are various groups – government and private – which work to make people aware of various minute details that can help in the environmental protection. Also, various research institutes spend a huge sum of money to develop technologies which will help in the cause. E.g. Evolution of hybrid cells and hydrogen cells which help in minimizing pollution through automobiles. The corporate sector has accepted it as its social responsibility to work towards preservation of the environment. In lieu of which, they are awarded quality certificates and rebates on various deals.

Today, most of the people think about the environment before they act. A few change the way they plan to do. Finally, very few do it. It is about time, we all do.

The Earth Hour !

The Earth Day, as I understand, is to utilize the resources that the mother earth provides us with optimization so that each n everyone gets to utilize it in need, for that day. Though, we should do that more often but that is the tragedy we need to live with.

The concept of the Earth Hour, as promoted, was to switch off all the electrical appliances for 1 hour in order to save electricity and to save the climate from getting ruined. The request was made to the complete world. Many people paid heed but many did not.

I am grateful to those who did and also to those who did not. Why??

The power stations are our providers of electricity. They burn coal, heat water, circulate it through pipelines, rotate turbines and generate power on a dynamo which has its own speed limit which varies inversely with the load the dynamo is supposed to bear. This means, higher the load, less speed of the dynamo but if lesser the load then higher the speed of dynamo.

But, we cannot allow the dynamo to reach the speed of light, else it would convert into energy (E=mc^2) and would disappear.

Hence, we limit its speed to a certain value, beyond which the dynamo gets cutoff. When the speed comes down, below the threshold, it again starts rotating.

Can you tell me what is that process that is continuously going on irrespective of the speed of dynamo?? The coal is being burnt unstoppingly.

So what had happened when lot of people switched off their electrical appliances simultaneously, for 1 hour?? The load on the dynamo has decresed resulting in the increase of its speed. This means that the dynamo could have reached the threshold and the power would not have been produced during that time while the amount of coal was being burnt continuously for that period.

Had everyone swithced off their appliances, the dynamo would have definitely reached the threshold and would have stopped running while the coal is still burning and it is going to waste. Now you would suggest, shut the power plants for that hour !! For those of you who say so, pay a visit to any power plant and learn why a power plant cannot be shut down suddenly and restarted in no time.

Hence, I am grateful to those people who have not switched off the appliances.

But why am I grateful to those who did??

When many people shut down the appliances, the power generated was directed to those distribution channels where regular power cuts happen. Hence, for one hour they 'might' have received good voltage of electricity.

This means that by the combined effort of those who switched off the appliances and who did not, the power was delivered to the needy people for that duration and may be afterwords as well and also the coal burning did not go to waste.

Anyhow, we all celebrated the Earth Hour !!

Point to ponder upon

I recently went to mumbai for some recruitment exam. Well, exam was supposed to be taken easy for haven't prepared for it properly. Main motive was to visit mumbai again. This was my second trip. Last time when I had gone, I had visited places like bandra, dadar, kandivali. This time I visited vidyavihar, malad and dadar. On my return from dadar, my uncle and his son (arnd 7 yrs old) escorted me to the station. Throughout, the little kid was talking about bomb blasts, terrorists attack, the number of people died, until my uncle scolded him and asked him to shut up. I was amazed to see that a 7 yrs old kid had so much knowledge about these attacks. Of course, anyone breathing in this world must have knowledge about the happening around him/her but for God's sake, he is only 7yrs old !! Atleast he should have been spared of the trouble of the thought process that goes into recovering from these things.

In the talk, he mentioned that once his father just escaped one of the blasts. Imagine my condition. I am being informed about the lucky escape from the death of the guy who is standing right next to me. !!!!

That kid is in his 4th grade and he is talking about bomb blasts so freely as if it is similar telling about a scolding by teacher on a mistake. Does he deserve to be informed about such acts of barbarism?? Should'nt he have more knowledge about various cartoons, games, pranks ??

We all talk about fighting terrorism. As civilians, we respond to the attacks by our act of attending the office the next working day showing that, we have accustomed to such attacks and whatever comes out way, we will not deviate from our routine. But, as fathers, mothers, guardians and relatives what are we telling to the kids ?? As far as I believe, we are not telling them anything. We are allowing them to be aware of such barbarism on their own. We are not guiding them properly as to how, someone of their age, should respond to these acts.

Even I do not know of even one way in which this could be done. I just know that, shutting their mouths is not the best way. Also, they cannot be kept in dark about their surroundings. Their focus needs to be shifted to more friendly things.

We need to hold their hands and tell them that we are here, hence you simply enjoy :)

She !!

She is sweet n adorable. She is sensitive. She looks good in pink. She has worn orange when I had first met her. She has a cute smile which forces current through me. I smile when I remember of her. When I am with her, I am the happiest person I could ever be. I enjoy being with her. I like listening to her. I think of lot of things to talk to her about but when I am in front of her, I forget everything I have thought about. What I remember is that she is in front of me and I am with her for next few moments.

She says, I don't smile. How strange is this comment, only I can understand. I have no reason to deny her claim. I do not smile in front of her. I am happy when I am with her but I never get a chance to express that happiness.

She is matured. She has seen more than I have. She is rational in her approach but she thinks too much.

She is progressing in her life. She is moving ahead leaving the past behind. She is choosing her own path. Who knows if she will succeed?? All she has is faith and support from friends n well wishers.

What I have written is only a bit of she. "I wish I could write more."

Now someone would be wondering - What will I have after writing about 'she'? The answer is "Not always you do things because you want something to happen, sometimes you just do the thing you want to do and wait for something to happen".

Another Expectation !

The following seems to be the half reality of life: (excerpt taken from the 21 OST-Time 2 Pretend)

"I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life.
Let's make some music, make some money, find some models for wives.
....

This is our decision, to live fast and die young.
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun.
Yeah, it's overwhelming, but what else can we do.
Get jobs in offices, and wake up for the morning commute.

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We're fated to pretend
To pretend
We're fated to pretend
To pretend

I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone.

There's really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew.
..."

The seond half is the following:

Die doing anything n everything for the people u care n love, be it parents, friends, love of life, partner of life, relations etc.
Any amount you do for them, lot more gets unnoticed and you are left with a disgusted self image
In the end, you did not do enough to be worthy of being with them
Your every step is judged in their frame of reference and hence you are awarded n punished both at the same time
Ultimately people will ask for ur soul to rest in peace for they do not want to be haunted by it
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I believe that it holds some part of each one of our lives.
I am not the one to suggest what to do.
I do what I think is right. That need not always be the right thing to do. To err is human but to hold grudges against that error of someone is inhumane
I just hope people who know me, care for me or whom I care about, realise this.

Mood Swings !

A very common thing among humans but very contributive in defining the success and failure for them. Sometimes, it so happens that we are in a mood swing and we are not able to recognise it.

As of now, if I analyse my life of last 7 months, I will recognise a swinging pattern in my activities. Though my every activity was directed towards my ultimate goal of "sketching out a better future for myself" but my each activity had deviations from this mean line.

Now that is very normal. So what is the new thing that I am trying to put forth??

Recently, during a placement option in JP Morgan, one of my friends said - yaar engineer banke bhi ek bank mein kaam karenge to chaar saal ki padhai waste hi hai na...engineering degree is a waste.

I tried to convince him that it is just a graduation, we are not yet engineers so it hardly matters which job u adopt.

The next thing he said really shooked me.
He said - tu kya bolega jab log tujhse poochenge:
-beta engineering kaha se ki? 'ji BITS Pilani'
-are waah!! kis branch mein? 'Electronics'/'mechanical'/'computer science' etc.
-kaha job kar rahe ho? 'JP Morgan'
-are waah!! kya kaam karte ho? 'transactions processing'

Meaning that I will be simply pushing buttons on a system on someone's orders when he/she wants me to perform a transaction.
Best part: I will be transacting in billions daily
Worst part: It is a clerikal job

This conversation has been haunting me day n night. And after this, I am pondering over what I had been doing since July 08; I had been moulding myself to fit for the market needs.

Agreed, that all of us need to do that at some point or the other but why do we lose our identities? Why do we stop pursuing what really interests us? Why are we least bothered about what we have studied or rather what has been taught to us till now?

Why an X with qualification of an engineer tries to get involved into something where he cannot utilize his knowledge gathered over a period of 4 years?

Agreed that after 12th, 90% of youth is directed by their guardians/parents regarding their career. But, isn't that a wrong methodology?

We are forced to aim for the hot seats in IIT, BITS, NIT IIIT etc.
How much do we know of market scenario or of our interests? What is the guarantee that once an engineer will always be an engineer? And yes we do see people diverting from the field; even completely quitting it.

After graduation, scenario does not get better at all.
We are a herd of sheep following what OTHERS do. Our business is not what we should do but what the majority is doing.
We are again made clear that there are only limited prospects: CAT, GATE, GRE, GMAT etc.

Even I could not escape from this herd and am still a part of this herd.
I went for hell of MBA entrance examinations; nothing happened.
For placements, left my mechanical text books to study C programming for companies in IT sector: nothing happened.
Again diverted myself from IT to finance and studied hell of it: nothing happened.

What next?
How many transfers do I need to go through before I find success?

My dad says - That is the way it is. You look for every option available.

If that is the case, then I must say that we are losing the power to focus.

We, who are always addressed as the drivers of the future of India, are being driven as per the moment.

Lethargic day, dwelling and dweller

My day started on a PJ note...it seemed the day was going to be charming, beautiful, energetic and happy. But what seems to be, does not actually turn out to be. The clock has not even ticked 12 of noon and I had realised that it is going to be a sad, lethargic, useless, non-profitable day. I tried to lift up the spirit of the day but my every effort was failed. It failed for I was not ready to accept that MY day is going to be so bad. Caps because I like being with friends, joking, chatting, pulling leg, enjoying movies, laughter challenges...but today was completely changed.

My placements are going to begin from 22nd January. 155 people have registered for the company and needless to say, hardly [5% of the total] are going to be selected. The current situation is the strongest evidence for that claim. I know I must study but as I picked the book, it started feeling boring and dejected. I would have tried group study, I know, but I also know that I was not interested in studying and so it was no point in wasting time of those who are really working hard.

At a point of time in the day, I was sparkled by something. A current ran through me when it happened. I am sorry, I cannot tell you what happened but it was the most coveted thing of the day to happen for me. But it did not last long. I did not have enough time to connect to it. As time vanished, so did the sparkle!

How amazing it is to see that some'thing' can actually revert your mood! Moreover, when it happened I was actually expecting it would not happen. But it did and changed that moment for me...but just the moment, not the day. Had it lasted longer than it did, it would have definitely changed the day for me :)

The day is still on. It is evening and I still have atleast 6 hours to get rid of...oops...spend.
I intend no pun through this. I wrote what came through my heart.